A Reason to Live
by Kitsune Moonstar
Summary: Zechs finds a reason to live after Libra's destruction.


Author's note: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. Please do not sue me. The lines in italics are from Noin's dialouge in the show.

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A Reason to Live 

The darkness was comfortable. He wanted to stop fighting and stay there. He was tired of fighting. It was time to give up.

How long he had been in the darkness he didn't know. There was no pain here, just peace. Oblivion was nice.

He was Milliardo Peacecraft. No, that wasn't right. Milliardo was dead. The vengeance driven demon was gone. He was Zechs Marquise.

And he didn't deserve to live. Not after what he had done. The world was better off without him.

It's been quite awhile Lieutenant Zechs.

He heard a voice in the darkness. One he knew well. A soft alto voice that always made him want to smile.

I think rumors are great. Have you heard any rumors about me?

She teased him; not that many people did. Noin always treated him as her friend. One of the few people who did. To her, they were friends, and that was all that mattered.

I'm honored that you seem to remember so much about me Lieutenant.

How could he forget her? Her could see her face even now. Gentle violet eyes framed by raven locks. Soft short hair. The sweet smile she'd shared with him so many times.

Zechs, it's been one year and twenty two days.

One year and twenty two days since he had left her. Left her after what had been either the best day in his life or the worst. Leaving after that day had been one of the hardest things he'd done in his life.

It had been a perfect day. They had just been themselves. Zechs and Noin. Noin had been recently released from the hospital. She'd spent a week in a coma after being seriously injured in a battle. The two of them had spent the day on their own at the beach.

They had admitted how the felt. That they loved one another. The two of them had spent the day together. He'd given her his mother's locket. The one with the picture of him and Relena. It also held a picture of him and Noin from their school days. He had told her to keep it until he could come back and stay with her forever. She had given him the class ring from Lake Victoria. It fit him; the ring people had accidentally combined their orders resulting in a ring his size with her name on it. At the time he had insisted she keep it.

He could feel the cool metal against his finger. The ring had stayed with him through all of this. They had both known that forever might never happen for them.

I appreciate the compliment Lieutenant Zechs.

There was so much to compliment her on. Noin was beautiful, talented, kind, gentle, determined, and the list went on. He had always admired her. Her petite body held such a fiery spirit.

Battles that risk mens' lives are miscalculations.

She would willingly risk her own life for others, and yet would never want to put others in danger. She would not sacrifice others. It didn't make her the best of strategists, but it had always been an endearing quality to him. Not many of those he had to deal with gave life such value.

Just feeling a little beat up inside and out.

He'd been so worried. He knew that she could handle herself in a fight, but even he had trouble fighting the gundams. And he worried about her anyway. If he lost her, Zechs didn't know what he would do. While he hid his feelings for Noin deep in his heart, he could not deny them.

You're just saying that cause if I died, I'd get a two rank promotion.

That reply had reassured him somewhat even though he knew she'd still crack jokes if she was seriously injured. Noin was always willing to share a joke and make him smile. And she was often so full of good humor that you couldn't help but join in on it.

Listen you got to let me fight the enemy with you. I want to retrain and get stronger.

She never gave up. She was always determined to do better. She kept him going. When they had been in school, the had pushed each other to do their best. Not many people ever realized it, but they were equals in almost every field. Noin was just too modes to take credit; she'd always let him have it.

I'd be happy to. Thank you.

She was always willing to help him. To stay by his side. He was grateful to her for that. She centered him. He'd thanked her many times for it, but she just laughed and told him that's what friends were for.

Open up Zechs. You're hiding far too many secrets.

He'd always been able to share his secrets with her. She had his complete trust, maybe the only one who did. And she'd trusted him with her own secrets. They might not have been as life threatening as his, but still her trust was a precious gift.

I do trust you Zechs. And if I know that this is an important attack, then I will fight.

For such a good soldier, she hated fighting. Or maybe that was what made her such a good soldier. One of their instructors had taken them aside one day and told them that they both were intelligent and talented enough to make a good living outside the military and asked them why they stayed.

Zechs couldn't tell the man his reason without revealing his secret. But Noin had an answer that he found he agreed with. She had said, "I fight to put an end to fighting. I know I have the potential to do other things, but what about those who will never find out their potential or will never get a chance to use it because of the war? I am good at fighting, and I have pretty decent ethics. If people like me are the ones fighting, there is less loss of innocent life. Maybe I can't make peace, but I'll fight to protect this who can."

Then I'm going to fight too.

She was always there to help him. If it was up to her, he'd never face trouble on his own. She'd stuck with him through thick and thin at school and done the same during the war when she could.

I understand Colonel.

Noin did understand him even if she didn't always agree with him. She knew him better than any human alive.

Colonel, take care.

He'd been glad to see her go. He'd rather have her safe and away from him than dead because of him. He knew she worried about him. She'd been so reluctant to leave him to facing danger on his own. That had been the last time he'd seen her before the whole White Fang ordeal began.

Is that really you Zechs?

Her voice had barely registered through the haze Epyon created. It was a rather redundant question; they both knew each other well enough to identify each other based on their fighting style.

No Zechs. I'd rather not have to fight you but I...

She was in his way. But then she only did that when she was positive he was wrong. She'd been the only reason he hadn't killed the people who murdered his his family the time they visited Lake Victoria. She practically dragged him out to the lake. When he tried to go back, Noin shoved him in the lake. That had started a water fight. By the time it was over, he had calmed down.

I'm not moving. Even if it means having to fight you.

Noin was stubborn. If she had made her mind up, there was no way she'd back down. Epyon had screamed at him to destroy her; she was in his way.

But he couldn't. Not Noin. He had backed down. She was too precious to him. He loved her; nothing ever changed that.

It's me. I won't try and stop you. Just let me stay here by your side.

Even after all he'd done, she had wanted to stay with him. Her love was absolute and unconditional. She was his light in the dark. And that's why he couldn't stay here. It was nice, but Noin wasn't here. And if she wasn't here, he didn't want to be here either.

He couldn't give up because Noin was still alive. They had suffered too much for him to give up a chance for them to be together. It wasn't going to be easy, but it would be worth it. He had a reason to live; she went by the name of Noin.

Zechs Marquise opened his eyes.

Owari (the end)


End file.
